Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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