Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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