I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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