During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize