Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
