when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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