these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
