Someone shit on the floor
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Girls should come with a carfax report
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
