I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
