what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
