The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
