for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
