I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
