I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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