....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
