we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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