I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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