Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
