What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
