I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
