I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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