Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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