You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize