i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
