Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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