Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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