No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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