yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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