i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
