i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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