Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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