I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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