you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
