So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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