How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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