they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
