How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
