absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
