so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
