You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
