Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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