The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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