It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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