Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
