I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
