that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How external is "for external use only"?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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