Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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