he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
