I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize