Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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