i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
