She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
