Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize