question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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