okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
