Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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