Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there was a trapeze. enough said
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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