did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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