at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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