these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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