Your tits are I can't wait for
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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