I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
