you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
