I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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