you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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