When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we're making bets on your personal life
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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