Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
