If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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