just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
